i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
