Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
