Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
