So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
