I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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