Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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