When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
