and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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