I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think I won the penis lottery.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
