plz talk dirty to me
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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