probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
