I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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