I wanna bring you to show and tell
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
