my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
