I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
