ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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