He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
