Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
