Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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