dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
