Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
