Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
