thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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