Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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