I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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