I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
