why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
