A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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