She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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