Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
