Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
