It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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