WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize