used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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