i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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