So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize