matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
