Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
