If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
