i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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