Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
