and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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