omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
