She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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