She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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