Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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