Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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