if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
