come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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