non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
this boner is exhausting
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have fence marks all over my body
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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