I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
