What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
