i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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