I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
