just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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