the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
