I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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