That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sober January is a disaster.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
