nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Shame is for Republicans.
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