i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
