I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
