1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
